A little over a year ago, as described in my previous blog post, I attended a Hoffman week-long intensive retreat here in California.
After sitting in my driveway on a dreary January morning, tears running down my cheeks, I plead with God, my (deceased) parents and my guides to “show me something life-changing today”. I was absolutely miserable and couldn’t understand why I was having such painful relationships with my boss and lover at this point in my life.
I drove aimlessly until I dead-ended in the woods – at beautiful White Sulphur Springs retreat center in St. Helena. I had never heard of this place and knew nothing about “Hoffman Process” but I did trust that I had been led there and that my prayer had been answered. That same day, I signed up for the next retreat and (lovingly but firmly) ended my volatile relationship. My tortured heart felt light for the first time in years. A few weeks later, I attended the retreat, billed as “80 hours of therapy in 8 days”.
Looking back, I was absolutely miserable, overweight, and relying on self-destructive coping mechanisms. Despite a life-long history of loving romantic relationships and great working relationships with every one of my previous supervisors, I was emotionally stuck and felt powerless to do anything to improve my situation. I had no relief at home or at work. I was also grieving the recent deaths of my parents, my 5 year old nephew, my dog, and a stack of other losses.
But a prayer to my parents, God and my guides changed everything on a dime.
The night before the retreat, on February 6th, I ran into an old flame at the same venue where we’d met 4 years previously, The Terrace Room at the Lake Merritt Hotel. We had fallen in love and dated for several months in 2011, yet the timing hadn’t been right.
I excitedly told her about the retreat I was attending the next day, and happily declared, “I’m single, I’m quitting my job, and I’m going traveling!” She said, “Well, let’s do it together!” And although we didn’t quit our jobs, we traveled extensively last year. She just surprised me with a beautiful proposal at the Lake Chalet Restaurant on Lake Merritt, surrounded by friends, all in tears, and cheering for us. She is my steady, unwavering rock. Her love and support has allowed me to find peace in my life, even at work. Friends and co-workers frequently exclaim what a difference they see in me. And I feel the loving presence, support and excitement of my parents who I know had a hand in all of my good fortune.
The moment I asked my angels and parents for help, my life changed on a dime. I had only to ask. This year I’ve found peace at work (even with a difficult boss), I lost 35 pounds, got emotionally and physically healthy, remodeled my home, opened up psychically and did some amazing healing work with friends and clients, paid off debts, fell in love, traveled to Croatia, Arizona and NYC, and got engaged! Cindy and I are now shopping for a home to call ours, and are planning a 2017 wedding.
All of this, a direct result of a prayer and a tearful request to “the other side” for grace. Our loved ones are always with us, conspiring to support us, if we only ask.